To Life, To Life, L’chaim!

My “digital pen” has been dormant for months. I’m missing my connection with all of you and look forward to getting back into a regular writing groove.

A large part of my silence has been website issues, making me hesitant to post. Happily, I think those are now behind me, following a major upgrade to hack-proof my website as well as make it function better on all sizes of devices. It’s been quite an education, to say the least.

This morning*, however, my thoughts turn to the title of a wonderful little book by Ezra Bayda, Saying Yes to Life (Even the Hard Parts), because today is an anniversary of sorts for me, eliciting poignant memories of a “hard part”. Ten years ago today my beloved husband got the diagnosis that would lead to his passing only thirteen days later. I don’t live in the past, yet somehow anniversaries – even the hard ones – are remembered in our very bodies, asking for our quiet acknowledgment, and offering us a gift of sorts in return if we are honest enough to own up to what we are feeling.

Even now, ten years later, I am acutely aware of what I lost. But I am also aware of gains: how far I’ve come, and how much I have learned. I’m grateful that somehow I am able to be aware of ongoing grace, of new paths, new friends, new opportunities, and new insights. I can’t know what trajectory my life might have taken, had things gone differently. But I can be grateful for the abundant blessings that have somehow sustained me, inch by inch, yard by yard.

And so I say “yes to life”, hard parts and all. I cultivate trust, reminding myself that there is One who knows far better than I do what my path should be. And so, as I mark this poignant day, I feel not only a measure of nostalgia, but also a quiet undergirding of peace and serenity. There is so much that we cannot know – but we can stand up in face of it all, with thankful hearts, and say “To Life, to Life, L’chaim!”

* (Well, it was “this morning”, until yet another computer glitch delayed the actually posting. If noting an anniversary, it’s important to note it correctly. This post was written on August 4, 2017.)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s